Today I was doing my devotions and I have been reading from the book of James. Nate suggested I do that and I wasn't sure why, but today's verse just clinched it for me. James 4:8 says, "Come near to God and He will come near to you." It has been hard to deal with K's problems and I have had moments when I cry out to God for a reason why. Many of you out there know exactly what I mean and if you haven't hit that point in your life, you will. My life up until K was very mediocre. My walk with God had its ups and downs, but mostly I did not understand the struggles Christians face. The minute K was born I faced something I never had to face before, the helplessness that comes from being unable to fix something. I looked forward throughout my entire pregnancy to playing duets at the piano with my daughter. I looked forward to watching her fingers gently glide over the piano keys. God had given me a gift and I had hoped that He would do the same for her. This is hard to write because my little girl will struggle with simple things, let alone learning to play the piano. I had even thought about never playing again because I would hate for her to feel badly about not being able to do it just like mommy. Valentine's Day was the first day I sat down and played the piano. It was hard, but I know that God wants this gift to be used. I don't know why He allowed K to have these problems and I know that it will be a struggle for us, but He does have a purpose for this beautiful little girl. We have had overwhelming support from friends, family, and people we have never met. God says to come near to Him and He will come near to us. What a beautiful promise! K doesn't have fingers, but what gifts she has are going to blow us away. I can't wait to see what her life will be like. God is truly good.
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